Thursday, March 12, 2009

It could happen to you...

...or any of us. People keep saying they expect the recession to end as soon as the end of the year. I think they have cranial-rectal inversion. There are so many unpredictable global events and factors that could put us into a depression, and everyone keeps their heads comfortably up their asses. Obviously, I hope we can pull out of the dive before it gets too bad.
This isn't just in Sacramento, but in cities all over...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Sick of corporate speak?

Oh Gawd, please... stop the corporate lingo/catch phrase/buzz word/acronym abuse!
This rampant corporate cultural disease is snowballing across America's Action Team meetings filled with corporate puppets attempting to bolster their Adminisphere's, and I'm ready to spew my stomach contents if subjected to any more.
Do these sheeple actually think, "I sound fantastic when I talk. These people will really be impressed once they hear what I have to say.”, when we are really thinking, "What a jag-off"?

I beg my fellow humans and cube farmers to return to simple, direct dialog and effective communication by saying NO to corporate lingo and YES to re-humanizing our work environments.

Here are but a few old and new phrases and terms that are ready for burial.
Please feel free to add your own, but do not use bullets to list them! Try not to use too much of your personal bandwidth either, OK?

interface --I recall this is one of the first one's we started hearing in the early 80's. "I'm interfacing with a client." Sounds like something fun!

think outside the box --Let's put this one in a box and bury it, unless of course, it occupies the white space. I'll Twitter a White Paper on it and interface with you at today's power lunch.

value stream --a process in creating yellow snow?

Speaking of "process", anything related to business processes and their sub-tongues need to walk the plank by COB unless they want to be RIF'ed in the next downsizing.

taking point --Sorry, I'm not taking point without an automatic rifle, thank you.

Mission statements/objectives using the words, synergy, synergize, synergistic, and value added.

action items --Replaced "tasks" because it optimizes optimally.

productize --Please, kill me now...